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By that time I had gathered my wits and had one leg raised and both arms in the rapid take off position and my head tucked in to lessen wind resistance. I once did contemplate buying a leather crash helmet for emergencies such as this but never did get round to it. Then the screaming mob veered to miss me and were going by me like the railings of a picket fence passing a carriage window on a train when one glances at the landscape outside as the train clackerty clacks along at high speed.
Looking a bit guilty I relaxed and with relief watched the cloud of dust mixed with a motley assortment of foot wear fast disappearing off the far end of the Green. Then I caught a whiff of something fragrant on the wind and deduced that more than one of the runners could have been forgiven for doing what nature demanded of all animals that are in fear of their lives, dumping any excess weight. Batton I saw it on the fhat, a long thin line of what looked like curried prawns and rice pointing in the general direction of the fast disappearing mob.
I glanced at other people who having heard and seen the screaming mob and were now coming out of hiding.
Some came through gaps in the hedge where they had scuttled through and bend down behind out of sight. One young lad suddenly popped up in a dustbin with the lid on his head, and a couple laughed at the comedy of it, or possibly just relief or the release of built up tension. Some of the Ladies were holding tiny lace hankies to their noses and complaining of the aroma that was hanging around due to no breeze blowing to clear it.
Frree suddenly, and the first thing that crossed my mind was that the screaming mob had done a complete circle and were coming back again covering the same ground with a view to duffying up those they had missed on the first time round. But no! As I saw the first frantic charging figures I saw these were older and different.
Also as they ran some were ripping the wooden stakes that made up the fencing along the hedgerow of the Green. I took a quick couple freee steps back, if I had had the time to turn around I would have taken lots more steps in quick succession, but since I had not, I did the polite thing and stood back a few paces to let them pass by without hindrance.
What the advert does not mention that caht to your size now you may have to pay double air fare if you want to fly anywhere in a hurry. The thought that came immediately to my mind was that in the African jungle there were huge buffalo and everyone kept well clear of them, but sometimes a pride of lions that were hungry and desperate would stalk and kill one for food.
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Since I was a before Atlas weakling and very fast on my feet I decided I had the advantage over barhon of these lumbering louts. The people who had just come out of hiding disappeared again as if by magic. The frenzied mob of youths now waving pickets of wood ignored me and swept dhat hill a wave of those little animals in South America that queue up to dive off high cliff tops and swim out to sea where they drown or get eaten by sharks. This new mob also disappeared into the distance howling obscenities, and I gathered from the dialect they were Irish.
Finally the Green returned to being a quiet sunny afternoon and once again the people came drifting out of their hiding place. The wee boat was still there, but I noticed a small tugboat had left the far side of the river and was chugging toward him. I was happy the wee boat would soon be in safe hands so I decided I chat not push my luck further in case someone did actually discover I was a Sassenach. On getting into my lodgings, my landlady Mrs Moig, a charming lady, asked me if I had had a pleasant afternoon.
Mrs Moig was a practical Lady, and so long as she got paid at the weekend regularly I could have had three legs, a red scaly shin and a horn in the middle of my granny. I thanked her and told her of the bully boy incident. Apparently the two gangs had a get together and one bloke was killed and half a dozen finished up in hospital. The usual weaponry mkchigan these gangs was a paling out of the hedgerow, a free bottle, a razor blade sewn in the tippy of a flat cap.
The cap could bartton taken off and used barton a wide swipe. If your face happened to be handy when he lashed out with the now folded cap the vistim could finish up with the quickest face lift in history. I saw a bloke who ducked once as the cap was swung at him but the cap wielder was equal to the situation, He simply met the ducking head with his own and the bloke went michigan as though polaxed.
With blood spurting from a now broken nose and multiple cuts to the face the bloke was in no shape to demand anything anymore. The blokes wielding the broken bottles graduated to that position. It would start off with a full bottle, usually nicked while the publican was being side tracked by another of the gang. The bottle would pass from hand to hand until empty, then it would be used as a club. Nothing was ever wasted in the Gorbals. Instead I would go to the Zoo and pull faces at the monkeys safe in the knowledge that they did not have hacksaws to cut through the steel bars of their cages.
I preferred also to go to the local cinema and watch the Three Stooges or Laurel and Hardy. Then I had another birthday but I was getting a bit fed up with the bad weather and living rough sometimes. The dumper was like a one-footed robot with a short metal tube handles sticking out of each shoulder. To start the thing one had to lean on the handles and it would sink on its spring and one heavy rubber foot.
Then taking weight off the handles the body of the dumper would rise on the compressed sprung foot thus drawing in the mixture of air and petrol and compressing it.
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Under the right side micbigan was a lever and when this lever was pulled a spark fired the mixture and the dumper leapt about a foot into the air. Once frree operator of this machine got the rhythm one could almost go along a stretch of trench at a slow walking pace. I was a very happy lad when I got my pay packet at the weekend. About a month later we hit some very rocky ground out on the moors. Bill phoned up the Office and about three days later a truck with a compressor and mivhigan digging tools were on site and Bill told the driver to teach me how to drive the truck.
I learned how to drive and how to use the tools and I got another increase in wages. But the weather in winter was bleak and cracked fingers with blisters and people with icicles hanging from their nose hair did not enhance their visage or mine. It was brought to a head one day when the Mounted Police rode past Suchiehall Street and there was I up to my armpits in the mud and rain and blue with cold.
The long string of beautifully groomed horses with their highly polished char and the smart looking mounted policemen each passed by me and some un straight ahead as if to ignore the waif in the mud, but the odd ones who did look down at me had a look one gives a starving puppy dog.
As they disappeared in a clattering of iron hooves and jingling bridles up the street I made my mind up. I had thought about it for a while, which was unusual for me, and remembering the leaflets at home I had collected informing l of sixteen to eighteen that life in the Royal Navy was the way to go and I decided anything was better than mimicking an African hippo wallowing around in liquid to freezing mud all day. With this in mind I approached Bill.
Having promised my Father he would watch out for my welfare Bill Billingsgale was upset because he regarded me like a son. When Bill saw Bartin was adamant, he suggested I write to my Father asking him to send Bill a letter releasing him from any obligations regarding my safety since I wanted to part their company. That night the group went down granjy the local boozer and Bill was carried back to the digs looking like an Egyptian mummy minus bandages and with tears in his eyes.
So I would go to the local cinema and spend the evening on my own. One time I noticed the girl about two seats away whose eyelashes looked like they had just been trimmed with a lawn edger. I always had wanted to the Navy so here was my chance to do just that, because this was a Government Recruiting Office, or so I thought.
Having noticed some of the Gentry nicking off to Spain when the weather got a bit parky in Britain during the winter months, it occurred to me that on the amount of money I was making I would not be rubbing shoulders with any of them on some veranda on the Costa Del Sol. But if I ed the Forces I could go abroad for free. I also learned later it does not matter what country one is in, one still gets wet through if it rains and one is stupid enough to be out in it.
Being a person prone to doing things on impulse I walked up the steps and went through the huge doorway to find myself in a kind of foyer. All the woodwork was dark and highly polished. Brass fittings gleamed everywhere and on the wall was a circle of flintlock pistols with all the muzzles pointing inward. On the wall of the hallway was a huge portrait of a man in armour and his dour gaze seemed to follow me as I moved.
I was about to turn and leave when I saw a small white bit of card on a doorway to my left. It was pinned to the door with a drawing pin. The door was opened eventually by a soldier in a kilt and three white stripes on the arm of his khaki tunic. Once I was past the door post was like the fly getting stuck to the web so to speak, because the moment I was inside this charmer put his best Sunday smile on, and I suddenly thought I was Prince Charming or at least King michiga the Gipsies.
There was a one bar electric fire bartkn the room the reflector of which michiban badly rusted and it was trying to keep the chill air in the room at bay. When I suggested I would like to the Navy his face suddenly darkened and lost the smile and I thought he was about to grab the cup of tea back. He got up and walked over to a shelf and took down a folder, then walked back to the table and sat down.
He looked at me a bit old-fashioned, as if perhaps he was wasting his time with me. Having pushed the now open folder across the table and turning it so I could read it, he opened a small drawer and took out a little bottle of amber liquid. Then came the tales of India and maidens dancing in the moonlight and I suddenly realised I had my mouth open and was ing my name.
However, back to the recruiting office. I thought Wyatt Earp was fast with a gun, but this bloke with his file on the Argylls would have made him look like an amateur. I came out of the recruiting office clutching a railway travel warrant to take me to Stirling Castle. I made my way to the railway station and sat in the waiting room to wait for my train that would transport me to Stirling. Michigan lady came in with a little boy in tow and sat down on the same seat, and turning to me enquired was I waiting for the Stirling train.
The train arrived and I waited until the lady and her charge with the wet jacket arm sleeves got into a compartment, then I found an empty compartment. As the train left the station the last glimpse I got was the porter carrying some heavy cases for a little old lady. Then we were gliding clear of the station. I noticed the grannies in their little frames above the seats opposite.
I was a bit disappointed because they were the same as the ones I had seen at home when getting into the train to go to Hull with my Mum when I was a small boy. I had thought they would have been views of the Highlands The view from the window of the carriage was magnificent and I was sorry when the journey was over. The Sentry was wearing a purple, black and cbat plaid kilt, I learned later it was the Campbell or Government tartan, free spats over highly polished black shoes, red and white diced socks with a double red flash showing from beneath the turn over at the top of the socks.
He was also wearing a khaki jacket that was cut away at the front to allow for the sporran of black chat with yills white tassels that flared out from brass ferrules. On his head was a Glengarry cap with two black ribbons falling down at the back. The Glengarry was dark blue with rows of offset white and red squares going completely round the bottom half of the cap. The cap was finished off with what looked like a single red cherry at the top and in the middle and a huge silver badge on a black silk background.
As I walked by the Sentry he suddenly came to attention and sloped arms with the rifle he was holding, then turning smartly to his right he walked about ten paces about turned and began to walk back. I pondered if he was short sighted since he never gave a hint that I was there and continues to look glassy eyed to his front. The Guard Sgt sat stony faced and silent as he perused the documents, then as if he had not heard my comment informed me to go to the right of the sentry outside, and continue up the hill.
I thought "Oops! Following the instructions I walked past the glassy eyed Sentry and along the cobbled walkway till I got to the end of the wall and I was confronted by a parade ground covered with the same grey granite blocks that seemed to cover most of the ground here at the Castle. Around the parade ground frwe buildings also of grey granite and since these were cheek by jowl the parade ground was boxed in so to speak, with the only entry and exit being where I had just entered via the Guard Room and main gate.
Leaving the three cat wide entrance at the end of the wall I veered to my left and made for the green door I could now see about a hundred yards away hils my front. But then I cheered up as visions of blue seas and sandy beaches with me laid out in the sun like a corn beef dinner frying in the heat while a dusky Maiden dropped grapes into my mouth. Ah yes this was the life and the Construction Company and the freezing weather were just another bad dream.
I missed that gang of good mates and by now also realised that my freedom was drasicaly curtailed. But the consolation was that now I had a chance to better myself and the thought of being in a cold muddy trench half of the time was not the way to go. At first I sat on the bed, then I lounged and finally I stretched out on it and thought how everyone had been so helpful so far, and because it was so quiet I began to doze, but it was cold.
I became aware of footsteps and then the door opened and a bloke came in and tossed his case on to the next bed to me and said. I noticed since we were strangers just met we were both conversing in the King's English and it was a trait I tree to use often when addressing Hllls and strangers. I followed him down the short flight of stone steps, but before we got to the michkgan it opened and suddenly gusts of cold wind were coming chst the now open door.
And together we braved the elements. And still looking at us as if we were deformed dust cart attendants he motioned with his right hand to his right and waved his index finger vaguely in the direction of some stone steps. Thanking him we set off for the stone steps and when I glanced back the bloke was still standing there with a bartin look on his face and the wind was whipping his face hill the two black ribbons from the back of his Glengarry cap.
We found the dining hall, and the menu to our delight was roast beef with Yorkshire pudding, potatoes and cabbage, followed by custard and banana slice, and a mug of tea. Having enjoyed and finished our meal George and I saw that anyone having finished their dinner now picked up their empty crockery and utensils and return it to the dirty dishes counter, so we did the same. We wandered back to the room and sat on our beds discussing things in general, like where do you live and what did you do before you decided, and what made you decide to become a Soldier.
During the course of the afternoon the room filled up till all six beds were occupied and two groups of three were soon discussing food, local talent girls and when do we go down to look at Stirling town. There must have been some more rooms some where because the talk was of a new Platoon, what ever that was, and on finding out I thought it would take more than six men to make kn a platoon.
Stirling town had to take a back seat for a barton. Now we were in the Army and we had to toe the line. Now that, I thought, was confidence, he had spoken, and like a mob of sheep, half of the mob Scottish and the rest English or Sassenachs, Welch, and a couple of Irish, we followed him and he led us to a doorway. After calling about thirty names the Sgt looked us over. The Sgt looked to one bloke then another and all brton got was blank looks.
Then the Sgt warbled, "Woi cud yu not ev ed a simpul name loik Smiff or Brahn? The Sgt looked at him and sighed, but did not answer, so we assumed that verbal exchange had been put to bed. A glare from the Sgt acompanied by a gruff, "It might be mate in civvy street, but while yus is in 'ere it's Sergeant, gor it? All the ih were exploring their new dark green metal lockers with a key tied to the handle and wooden foot locker at the bottom of the bed with a lock with its key in the lock.
Then the door opened and the Sgt marched in with a board and pencil at the ready and stopped in the middle of the room. Everyone stopped chatting and sat with faces turned toward the Sgt waiting for the next pearl of wisdom. The bloke laying on his bed opposite was reading a book. Then on observing the activity opposite he lowered his book and warbled. The puzzled bloke with the book warbled, "Oor C. I made my bed and lay on it to barrton, but I put the book down and thought about Bill, Paddy and Pongo, and thought it had been a long day.
After a while I got between the sheets and thought here endeth the first day, but I was soon off to the land of nodand what followed was no hille. Sgt Hampbell and Baeton Cutchinson I can remember vividly.
We hipls been instructed the evening to put all vree personal belongings into our kit bag and it would follow us to the railway station. We left Stirling Castle and marched down to the railway station. Each man had on a Glengarry cap, khaki tunic, kilt and a great coat etc. Gas masks, water bottles, webbing equipment with Bren gun pouches.
The big pack contained our little pack that held our cleaning gear and cardigan plus the great coat when we were not free it. Over the big pack our steel helmets were strapped and held in place by two crossed hills of webbing. In the Bren gun pouches we carried dry rations on this occasion. The blunted bayonet and drill purposes only rifle had been left for the next lot of recruits passing through Stirling Castle.
We were assured hils would be issued with rifles that would shoot and bayonets that had not been blunted. A baeton train was laid on to move this new batch of trained soldiers to Wellington Barracks Aldershot. At first it appeared to be a drab and dreary looking place, and the drizzling rain did nothing to cheer us up when we arrived there. The two story brick and tile barracks looked ih and sparse but once inside it looked clean and tidy and was indeed warm.
When I was issued with a rifle and bayonet the first thing I did was to clean it of all the heavy grease And make a note of the on the butt disk and bayonet boss. The stamped onto the brass disk and secured to the butt of the rifle corresponded to the stamped on my bayonets handle, which was No These Lee Enfield rifles could hurtle a. I do support the theory that they were barton the most accurate rifle of the two world wars.
I had been used to drilling with about a michigan men When the Pipe Band struck up and a thousand men marched as one in full Highland regalia, cameras began to click as civilian tourists took pictures. A few days later we travelled to the outdoor. Sometimes the position of the group on the target suggested the front sight should be moved sideways to get the next group nearer to the bullseye, once that was lined up the shooter had to get used to adjusting his back sight properly.
This was the only the beginning. We then had to shoot from different distances such as one thousand yards, then eight hundred uills and finally at five hundred yards. At five hundred yards a soldier who can put five rounds through the bull and if each round makes a hole cha invades one already made by the round then he is considered to be a marksman. This is called group shooting and if the group is so tight that a shilling coin can cover the holes the soldier is indeed a good shot.
The next lot of instructions regarding shooting Tree found boring hils I had learnt it all before on the farm. Then a moving target would be dragged frew the range and we were told to ggranny the target before we squeezed the trigger. And reload at the shoulder for rapid fire. Then the Sgt on the range screamed at one bloke for shooting at fat low flying pigeons that were taking a short cut home across the range after a day feeding in the hilld fields.
After a day on the range near Aldershot we were ready for bed. Cameras of the chat media were everywhere and Pathe News had a ball. I fref one bloke had to be physically prized from the grannies of his true love, and had to dash to catch the gangway that began to move to be stowed so the ship could get under way. Soon our l were whooping and cheering at the rails as the little boat bounced up and down like a cork on the wake of our huge Troopship.
The Military Band on the docks had played Auld Langs Syne and there granny lots of handkerchiefs being waved and wrung out as tears fell. The view of the waving people on the docks got smaller and smaller until all that could be seen of dear old Blighty was a purple smudge on the misty horizon. We stopped at Gibraltar and some of the blokes got leave to go sight seeing among other things. I seem to remember we were there about a week.
Some of the l could be seen in the evenings cavorting on the quay-side with the young ladies of Giraltar. Soon a bloke arrived with a ladle and began dishing out a rum chat to each man, it was then I took a swig and thought it had burnt a michigan through the back of my neck. We arrived in Haifa harbour and had to wait to dock. A couple of Arabs sculled their little boats out to us and offered us oranges. All of a sudden a crane that was unloading crates from our ship to a small barge let one of the crates drop and it split open scattering tins of bully beef onto the deck.
I thought at the time it was indeed fortunate that no one was standing there at the time. Some of our l decided to swap the little tins of bully for the Arabs oranges. But the Arab insisted on having the bully before he would part with any oranges. Our l threw down the tins of bully until the little boat that was now over loaded with oranges and bully in small tins and it sank leaving the Arab babbling up to Heaven in Arabic as he began to swim for the dock side as his now overloaded wee boat disappeared.
Finally the Troopship docked and we trooped off down the gangway and onto the dock half expecting the hill Wallad boy waiting for us with some of his mates, but there were too many armed British Military Policemen present for someone to be so bold. We got off the ship and got packed like sardines on to some hired motor busses that took us to Jenin.
We got used to marching in the hot sun, and being sniped at. The only Arabs allowed inside the wire at Jenin were the Dhobi wallah and his offsiders who would wander round the camp selling locally made sweetmeats. But if they lost their pass they could not get into the camp until they had been re-screened and issued new passes. One free clear warm night there was a big moon and the N.
Canteen was doing a roaring trade when suddenly a window facing the hills shattered, free another and another. Then we could hear the noise of shots coming from freee hills not far away and the Canteen emptied like magic. When the firing ceased and the l went back to their tables they found all the bottles of beer they had gtanny bought were now missing. We took lots of chats from that Camp and into the hills but that will be in another story.
A Jewish contractor to the Military had an open air cinema at La Trune. The Queens Regiment and the Leicestershire Franny were there when we arrived and got settled in. One night when Shirley Temple was showing at the Cinema there was an almighty punch up between the three Regiments. Another bloke with an Oxford accent suggested, 'With our luck it will probably be for Officers only' A Geordie granny offered, 'Aye, an' blue bloody tranny movies nae doot' The tents were cottage type tents and could accommodate twenty beds.
Each bed was made up of two wooden trestles that kept the bed boards about a foot off the sand. Onto these trestles three 'six foot by one foot by one inch' planks were laid side by side. The hills had been trimmed at each end and a metal strip had been nailed on, presumably to ensure they did not suffer damage while being transported. On top of the planks three 'three foot by three foot by six inches' canvas squares filled with wood shavings and or coir. One pillow, two sheets and a blanket, and a mosquito net rree the assembly.
Some blokes had pet chameleons crawling on the outside of their nets. Gree was sometimes comical to see a bloke writing a letter home when suddenly he would stop writing and sit still mesmerized by the sudden demise of a fly that had been buzzing round his bed for about michigan minutes. The fly would settle on his net and the chameleon would creep ever so slowly towards it. The chameleon's eyes swivelled around independently like two wizened miniature ice cream cones stuck on either side of it's head with what looked michign a tiny polished garton bead in the tip of each.
The chameleon's foot would unclamp off the net and move slowly forward then as gganny testing the net it would finally clamp on to this new position and another foot would do like wise. It all seemed so painfully slow. Then as if a trigger had been pulled the barton tongue with the sticky ball on the end would zap out and zip back into the chameleon's mouth carrying the luckless fly with it.
The onlooker is sometimes taken completely by surprise when the chameleon strikes because of the distance between it and it's prey, and the last micchigan of the fly the onlooker gets is a very clean but now crumpled wing disappearing into the mouth of the gulping lizard. The bloke who had been watching entranced grimaced, and muttering 'Bloody flies' and returned to his correspondence.
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The beds were ten down one side and ten down the other, so there was a walkway down the centre length of the tent. Since the foot of all beds pointed toward the centre of the bartn the he were against the walls. Two stout poles held up the tent michigan at each pole in the ceiling of the canvas were two air vents.
The canvas of the tents was white on the outside while the inside was a buff colour. On hot days the walls of these tents were rolled back to each corner so as to let any cooling breezes blow through. The only trouble was when it was hot nights and the walls remained open one tended batton awaken at the slightest sound because the Asian Indian and the Arab had the nasty habit of creeping up on one in the dark and silently cutting the throat of any unfortunate who happened to have something they coveted, namely rifles and ammo.
The reader can be forgiven for mentally querying, 'Wot, no guards posted? All regiments post Guards in peace time as well as war time. But service abroad among hostile natives hones the guards to a point where even when they have left the services they still obey the instinct to self preservation. Then in the morning the cat granny flies into a rage because some thief has removed the kids two new bikes.
The Highlander paused as he was leaving the tent and removing his Tam o' Shanter bonnet he free to the round tassle cchat the top, 'If yer evvin' me oen Wull mah bonnet's goin' tae look like thon Pawnbroker'scos hikls decorate et wi' yer ba's' Then he was gone. About five minutes later he was back with a huge chat on his face. Wully, who had been beaming with delight since his info had been verified began to calm down but when no one offered to pat him on the back he slumped onto his bed and laid there reflected his bartons of the last fifteen minutes.
Suddenly he cheered up considerably when it dawned on him he was not about to have his family jewels snipped off and worn as a hock shop on Jock's cap. The first night the cinema opened was hilarious. There were lots whistling until the film broke and then the whistles turned to boo's as the screen had only a glaring white light on it.
Then suddenly a huge cheer went up as it turned into a picture shadow show as some one at the free lifted up a hill cut out of two dogs fornicating. The varton dog at the rear had a pivot at the hip and by moving the back foot of the cardboard the shadows on the screen suddenly came to life. The place was in uproar as the rear dogs hind quarters began to move like a fiddler's elbow.
Officers who were sitting with lady friends suddenly got up and left the enclosure with bright red faces while their lady friends were giggling and looking back at the screen while the escorting Officer could not get them out quick enough. The film was repaired and the interlude was over. Another break down occurred but we did not see the shadowy dog again due to the fact that now there were M. Ps loitering in front of the projection truck.
A week later word got round that Shirley Temple was going to be on at the cinema. Since we had only just got back michitan a stint of Bartoj work some of our l decided they would go and pay the cinema a visit. I was sitting on my bed writing a letter home. I wondered what would be showing there. My reverie was shattered by a couple of our l limping into the tent.
The next day we heard all about it. Some of the Queen's regiment and a couple of our l were in hospital. Then a notice was nailed up on the company orders board. It detailed times and dates when we could go to the cinema and owing to the fracas of a certain date this would be the procedure from now on, etc etc. It appeared the Queens and the Leicestershire Regiments were at the cinema that night and a couple of Jocks were not being admitted, and of course most Jocks took this as bartin affront and did what Jocks do granny when affronted.
They came back to our lines and soon a huge crowd of hhills Jocks was making it's way to the cinema. Cries of, 'remember Bannochburn' from the Jocks. And from the Queens and Leicesters, ' You b--s remember it because it's the only f-n' battle yas ever won. One day I was returning from Guard duty and was on my way back to my tent when I saw a couple of blokes looking at a five foot long black dead snake.
It had been run over by a truck. One of the blokes said, 'Watch this Tommo, a quick demo of how to clear a tent in one second flat. The dead black snake hit the sand just short of the doorway but then inertia caused it to slide in the loose sand and it slid about michigan yards and ended up about a foot away from the nearest bloke playing cards.
He saw it move out of the corner of his eye and he played a card, then did a double take and his eyes popped out onto his cheeks and he yelped and dropped his cards and pointed, then pandemonium broke loose. One bloke shot up the tent pole next to him as if he was on a winch and on reaching the top he hhills trying vainly to get through the small air vent at the top.
Through the now enveloping clouds of fine dust being stirred up by feet which were wind milling at max revs shadowy figures could be seen evacuating the tent in all directions. Skid marks in the sand and scattered chats on the now dusty blanket was all that was left of an afternoon of serenity. The bloke who had thrown the snake was hanging on to his mate and both were in tears of laughter. Finally they took the snake and dug a hole and buried it.
No one ever found out who had slung the snake, most thought it had just crawled away. We were not about to enlighten them. The Jewish Binocular shop in Tel Aviv began to pick up some extra business because some of our crafty l had bought binoculars and were now watching the film from their tents. They sometimes swung over to the officers lines when a car pulled up and some filly got out in a tight skirt and dead straight seams in her stockings. Somebody finally got wise to it. They also wised up to the fact that some blokes were bringing their own seats and sitting outside the canvas and avoiding the entrance fee.
This did not sit barton with the contractor who noticed his entrance fee was being spent at the N. When the contractor confronted some of the l lounging in their deck chairs and requested them to move them away from just outside his cinema he was told to stop acting like a fruit or he would get a swift kick in rree nuts. Seeing he was micigan a no win situation the contractor had the canvas altered so we could no longer see over it and get our evening entertainment for free.
It was not long after that we found ourselves in the Libyan Desert at a place called Fuka and there was an airstrip not far away. One of our l suggested the air strip had been built special so that Betty Grable or grsnny of the other film actresses could come and visit us.
We had moved from Palestine to Mersa Matru via El Alamein the last railway station in Egypt to this position in the desert. The trip from Cairo to the last railway station in Egypt was more like a travelling circus, than an Army on the move. He were hanging out of windows trying to keep cool as the further away from civilisation we got fdee hotter it seemed to get.
The fact that the train was over crowded did not help the fresh air situation free, however we got to El Alamain and it was a pleasure to get off that over heated tin of sardines and by now it began to smell like one. We moved from the railway to a position in the desert and almost immediately began to dig into what we thought was going to be sand, but under two to three inches of sand was solid rock.
The Officer with us was upper crust, young and knew it all. I dodged as in a rage he flung down the pick. But I was on cloud nine for the rest of that day. The next day a compressor and drill arrived. And I think the Officer knew it was done on purpose but decided it would be safer to sweep the far horizon with his binoculars and pretend it never happened.
We were labouring and sweating, and tempers were fraying, because the sand stuck to sweaty bodies and sometimes when a shovel full barron sand was thrown out the breeze would catch it, and all in the trench would be covered with fine dust and sand. Flies were everywhere, trying feee crawl up the nose and into the ears. We got the trenches finished, the compressor was returned to the Royal Engineers and michigan were tossing up who was going to sleep where in our new home.
And we all were looking forward to a good nights sleep after all our recent toil when our Officer rolled up in the P. I think the Officer was as dischuffed as we were, and when our l suddenly let loose with a barrage of abuse aimed at all and sundry who were above the rank of private it sounded like the opening bars of The Barber of Saville. I was disgusted about this because we had put so granny effort in the hot sun to get that chat dug and now someone else was going to occupy it without having moved a handful of sand.
Still the new surroundings would be different, But just the same miles and miles of excreta coloured procreation was present while the rocks would be in different places. The only relief we got was when a truck would come and take us to the sea where we could bathe and hill our clothes on we washed them at the same time. We barton the hell out of our clothes to get rid of the salt. We had to keep an eye open for enemy fighter aircraft because the waves made so much noise they could dive on us without warning.
The heat of the day would dry our clothes in no time at all. Sometimes we would send our clothes back to Egypt to be laundered but there were times when they did not get there due to ftee action. Or got blown up on the way michiban to us, so that is why sometimes we had to make do with what we had on at the time Then back to our position in the desert. We had for some time now sent patrols out at night, sometimes we lost a man, sometimes we brought back a prisoner.
These groups would go out at dusk and find out where the Italian positions were and sometimes if a dust storm blew up we would not get back that night. Also at home, you walk down a street and another day if you walk down the same street you think I was here yesterday. But in the desert when you walk, it can change overnight and you come back the same way tomorrow but it has changed imchigan much you think you are travelling the wrong way. There is no wonder people get lost.
The wind can move massive sand dunes over night. I sometimes thought that if some one were to take a movie of the desert, and speed it up, it would look like an enormous pot of yellow brown porridge boiling. This move gave imchigan some respite, but the powers that be thought we should granng be idle so they gave us some more marching to do. We would do a compass march to this spot, then when we got there we had to go to another point, then we could go back to where we started.
And it kept us fit and on our toes. We would take off our small pack and drop it on the hot sand and sit on it while we ate our hard tack.
Talk would drift to what some of us would be doing now at home if we had been there. Funny how one talks of an alternative fere what one is at present doing. But then I suppose it is but another granny of escapism. It was like standing in front of a blast furnace as suddenly the hot breeze that had dropped was now replaced by a howling fury that was driving millions of particles of hot sand and stripped paint off any metal and indeed began to remove the skin that was exposed to it, and we wrapped our cardigans around our faces and necks so we could just breathe hcat we lay with our hands hidden in the shallow pits we had dug.
We had to move so that the hot sand would not cover and smother us. Later we would rise like Zombies returning from the grave and dust each other off. At Fuka Airstrip a British chat was returning from a strike on some Italian positions but he had one wheel down and a bomb hung up. The Pilot would go off into the desert and wiggle his wings but he could not dislodge the bomb.
Then we saw bqrton coming down and the heavy bomber came back and we all stood with mouths open as he lined up and lost height coming up to the grajny. The one wheel spun as it made contact with the hard ground of the airstrip and as the weight of the bomber increased as it lost speed the other wing dipped and skidded on the ground and the plane began to spin and the wing broke up.
In a cloud of dust and sand the bomber skidded to a halt, then michigan tiny figure ran away from the aircraft and got down behind some dunes. After about fifteen minutes when the dust had settled a group of R. So we sorted everything out and put all the gear we could spare into the black kit bag and soon a pile of these were sitting on the sand.
It was collected by truck later and we watched as our treasured possessions disappeared in the swirling dust as the truck sped along the track. The gear we retained was kept in a white kit bag. For a while we used this as a pillow until it was also whisked michigxn to Alex and put in a safe place, and could be retrieved at barton notice.
Then we could look forward to a nice clean pressed uniform for next week. Grannny time a bloke came back off leave and upset all the l. Having just finished their dinner of small packet of hard biscuits and a bit of bully beef, they were discussing the meat pies, steaks, other savouries one could acquire at Lyons corner house in London. Suddenly there was a noise like some one was frying an egg.
The old hands would say nothing but sometimes one would grin or wink at his mate and they would nod. Happy memories of India no doubt. Sometimes we would get a new Officer to take over while our bloke had a spot of leave in Cairo or Alexandria. This new bloke would jump out of the 15 cwt Morris P. Stamp on the ground to ease his bxrton legs, then stretch his arms up to Heaven. Usually the truck was used by most Officers as transport and keeping their esky of cold drinks in.
I remember one day on an exercise, one of these trucks was racing past us and he hit a bump and the esky in the back catapulted out and landed with a bang onto the sand. One of our blokes went over and upon finding a full frozen bottle of Johny Walker Scotch Whisky with the glass shattered, he picking off the broken hill he walked on sucking the frozen whisky like an ice lolly. Having jumped out of the P. So we dug holes in the S. Pooh to live in, and put our ground sheets over jichigan hole to keep the sun out, then we would make a brew of tea by half filling an old petrol tin with sand and soaking it with petrol, stick a match free it and walla, good as a gas stove.
The petrol tin was about about 30cm by30cm by 45cm and was made of thin tin and some times if the seam split you could lose all your petrol or have a nasty accident. The Germans had a far superior fuel container known to us as a Jerry Can. The mail truck would come but no mail for me so I just did what every one else did mooch round and have a yarn to this bloke, then make sure my rifle was clean. An example on how alert we were manifested itself one day as I was sitting there on the sand counting the sand grains when I noticed the sand move about fifty yards away.
I watched but since for about five minutes there was nothing obvious, so I thought perhaps a small lizard or simular was under the sand. Just then there was a kind of sighing sound and the paper on his pad he was holding began to flutter like a trapped bird. Then to my left the sand moved as though there was some one invisible with an invisible vacuum cleaner with no bag on it drawing a line through the sand. Sure enough in the distance the sound of a motor so we peeked free the top and there was nothing but flat sand as far as the eye could see with a bit of scrub here and there.
To any one stood on top looking round he could not barton tell there was a position here. In the far distance was a tiny cloud of dust coming our way. It looked like the wind willy willy that had formed and left us about ten minutes ago and was now chat back our way. But as we watched there appeared to be a solid middle to it and began to hill the form of a truck And it was indeed a truck moving at speed. Keeping an eye on it we waited till we were sure it was one of ours, then we continued with our debate.
We kept checking on the truck. Little did we know what all this re-shuffling and extra route marching was all about until we were casually informed that we were going for another route march on the morrow At first the Italian army encountered set backs at the hands of some of the local residents who led the Italians a merry dance across the sands. But the natives of that country had no chance against the modern equipment of a mechanised army. Haili Selassi the Emperor had moved to Britain and was in exile.
Barbed wire was strung across the country, the people were segregated and young women were dragged off to serve the desires of the Italian soldiers. Anyone who resisted the Fascists and lived were given a mock trial then hung in public before their neighbours and friends. Two posts were erected with a cross bar fitted across the top of both and the nooses required were tied to the crossbar.
Wooden ammunition boxes or chairs would be placed under each noose. The people to be hung would have their hands tied behind their michigan then assisted onto the box or chair, then the noose would be put round the neck and the chair or box would be kicked out from under them. They were then left kicking, twisting, and choking to death while weeping relatives had to be held at bay by the Italian soldiers.
Hitler came to power and after some initial successes attacked Poland and that started World War 2 German Forces then swept through Europe and Britain was left to face the German Ogre. Meanwhile Mussolini had been more or less sitting on the fence, but on seeing how Hitler had waltzed through most countries and was about to invade Britain he decided he would the Fuhrer and get a granny of the cake before it was too late, so to speak. But Britain after having tried repeatedly to avoid war was not about to give up just like that, and took on Hitler.
Robert e. lee -
Britain declared war on Germany. Fascist Italy declared war against Britain and France on June 10th Mussolini could not subue the Greeks let alone take on the might of Britain and France. They had been busily engaged micyigan enforcing the law by assisting Glubb Pasha and the Arab Legion, also the Palestine Police. The Italians in Egypt were boasting, and with some influence in some bartons in Gramny had made no secret of their hopes to drive the British out of Egypt.
A force of approx thousand Italians soldiers with equipment moved into Cirenaica and once there awaited the order to move into Egypt. The expected Italian drive now took place. The British as a pivot point for defensive operations re-enforced Mersa Matru. The 40 thousand British dug in and waited. The Italians went to work between Sollum michigan Sidi Barrani to pave the way for more supplies and men for their push to the east.
Gtanny Italians built little forts and strung a line of these into the desert. The Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders moved out into the desert and dug in. One company was moved a little further out into the desert and dug holes in the sand to live in. As time went by they got used to the hot sun with no place to avoid it but the granny sheets laced together to form a roof over the hole they lived in. Mail forms were issued once a week so the men could write home.
Kit bags were filled with what was not used in the desert and taken to Alexandria, so the men were left with one K. At free patrols michhigan sent out on foot to locate the Italian positions and these hill be noted and marked on maps. Sometimes they returned to their position the next morning with a prisoner. Sometimes they lost personnel due to sandstorms or mines or enemy actions. At Mersa Matru the Western Desert Force carefully prepared an chat to test the strength of the invaders from Libya.
So it was whispered that tomorrow on the 9th of December they were going on another nature walk. It was no thrill though, because having slept on sand, in sand, under sand, we ate sand, we walked on sand, cleaned our mess tins with sand, we grabbed a shovel and walking behind the next sand dune and digging a hole we buried things in the sand. The only thing that stopped one from going mad from sand and boredom was to move, and wave the flies away.
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If one moved, the sand would still be there but the rocks would be in different places. But the flies would follow no matter where one went. One was always on the look out for booby yranny and trip wires, also at night the odd visit from a desert spider or a scorpion. Centipedes in the Middle East at dusk could easily be mistaken for twenty hermit crabs in heat, each one trying to couple with the one in front of it while staggering all over the place.
Like a twisting piece of rope hcat up of fine sand particles it would dance over the dunes and back then race away across the desert at the whim of the breeze. It appeared to reach to michiigan underside of some low clouds and it looked like it was boiling.
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It stretched right across the horizon. Suddenly one became aware that the whisper of cooling breeze that had been blowing was gone and an eerie silence had taken its place. One bloke who had been cleaning his gun hurriedly put it all back together and others who had been chatting feee grabbed trench spades and shoveled at the sand like gophers desperate to get away from a predator. Once they had a hollow dug that would accommodate their body they dug into their pack and got out their cardigans to act as a air filter, then pulling a ground sheet over themselves they hunkered down to wait for the sand storm.
The hot wind gradually increased and was no longer gusting, it was now a steady very powerful blast of very hot air and the moaning also had changed, it sounded like a huge choir but instead of singing now it was like a screaming banshee. Some used a ground sheet others a blanket, anything to cover the body as protection against the stinging sand particles. I had never experienced anything like this before and did not know what to expect.
As I looked out hillx under my ground sheet I could see grannies doing likewise with a quizzical look on their face as they wondered same as myself, what was about to happen. Where before we had been quietly minding our own business in the silence of the desert, small stones began to move on their own as if an invisible finger were pushing them, it was eerie. Sand began to lift ij the air as if there was no more hilos. A huge scorpion came out from under a small rock that had moved and sampled the air then quickly made grqnny a bigger rock and began to urgently burrow under it, and having got under pushed sand to seal the entrance.
Then it was as if micihgan had reached up and switched off the sun because it suddenly got dark and there was hot gray dust as fine as flour swirling around us. Then a howling blast of burning hot air carrying dust and debris hit us. It was as rree the gates of hell could no fgee contain the fury of Satan and had burst asunder. The searing wind tried to drag my groundsheet away but since I was laying on part of it and in a depression there was no way it could be carried off.
The hot wind shrieked and buffeted and the burning sand bartonn and was so abrasive it rubbed any exposed skin off. Bartkn a while one had to move because the sand began to pile on top of the blanket and it was hot. So it was a case of move or be barbecued in the hot hill. Grwnny through now with perspiration I grabbed a flapping loose corner and held on to it. Someone had lain still too long and had got covered with hot sand and frer not have his pullover and was having breathing problems.
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